It's not likely
by PaintTheAlienPink
Summary: Crack Pairing Oneshots. Chapter 4: France and Finland. Turns out France hadn't been lying about giving wine to Santa Claus...
1. Spain and China

**A/N: This is something that I'm doing together with a friend of mine, who can be found on this website under the name of FlyingPigsAreEverywhere. We decided to randomly choose countries and write crack pairings about them. As you can see, this is oneshots we're talking about. This is my first, which happened to be Spain x China. My friend should post her first oneshot soon, too. I have about three more pairings to write about, which will be posted as the next chapters of this story as soon as I'm done with them and have had my friends read through them. Just so you know, before beginning to read: This oneshot takes place in a Human!AU.  
**

* * *

The first time that Yao Wang meets Antonio Hernandez Carriedo, he's leaving his younger brother Lee at the day care. A new kid, the Italian boy Lovino Vargas, promptly insults him, calling him an "ugly lady". Yao can't help but feel a bit shocked at the behaviour of this young boy. Hasn't his parents taught him better? Before Yao has the opportunity to react, someone comes from behind Lovino and lifts him up. Despite Lovino's cries of protest, the man, who Yao would later learn is named Antonio, reprimands the young Italian and tells him that "it's impolite to say things like that to such a beautiful lady". Antonio lets the boy down, which results in Lovino scoffing and running away to play with a tomato plushy.

Then, Antonio extends a hand and introduces himself. Yao responds by half-screaming, half-speaking that he's actually a man. He can't help but feel a bit embarrassed at actually being taken for a girl. Again. Nevertheless, Antonio suddenly goes a little red and apologies. He then explains that he's new to the day care, coming all the way from Spain. Lovino is his stepbrother, along with the some years younger Feliciano Vargas.

There's something about Antonio that makes Yao fell drawn - if only a little bit - to him. Yao doesn't know what it is, but he doesn't really care either. Maybe it's the way that Antonio's green eyes sparkle when he talks about something he likes, or the way he smiles. What was originally supposed to take ten minutes at the most ultimately becomes around 20 minutes as Antonio and Yao talks. When Yao notices this as he steals a glance at the clock, he quickly becomes a little bit pale. He's going to be late to work. Quickly apologizing and stealing a hug from the (quite) unwilling Lee, Yao bids farewell. But not before exchanging numbers with Antonio and a promise of meeting soon again.

* * *

Said promise is soon fulfilled, only three days later when Yao is picking up Lee from the day care. Antonio looks at him and smiles, not quite making Yao's hearts stop, but being pretty damn close. He quickly tries to shake the feeling off before greeting the Spaniard. This is only the second time they meet, he reminds himself. He barely knows Antonio. Some would say that it could be "love at first sight", but Yao's been in love before, he's been hurt before, and he doesn't believe in such a thing as love at first sight. Not second or third either. Yet... He can't deny that he enjoys Antonio's company. But that doesn't mean that it's love.

The third time that Yao and Antonio meets, it's at Feliciano's birthday party. Feliciano is a happy child who quickly befriends just about anyone as long as long as they don't scare him. Therefore, he invites the whole day care group when he's asked to invite his friends to his birthday party. Therefore, Lee is also invited. As a direct consequence, Yao happens to be the one to get him there. Resulting in Yao once again meeting Antonio. The happy Spaniard invites Yao to stay for a couple of minutes. Not having any other things going on, Yao accepts the invitation. He soon finds out that he really do enjoy spending time with Antonio. Still, Yao doesn't believe that it's love.

* * *

Antonio does however, to Yao's surprise. When Antonio asks him out a few weeks after they have first met, Yao's first reply is a surprised "WHAT?" Antonio looks a bit hurt at Yao's answer, but goes on to talk about how he understands if Yao doesn't feel the same way, still smiling. But Yao can see the hurt, the pain behind the smile. And can't help but wonder how many times his smile has been to hide pain. Even though Yao doesn't love Antonio - at least he tries to convince himself that he doesn't - Yao simply can't stand to see that kind of smile on Antonio's face. Antonio is supposed to be happy, supposed to smile out of happiness, not to hide pain and hurt. That's the only reason - Yao thinks - as he says that maybe, maybe, they could give it a try. And Antonio looks so happy.

* * *

One date turns into two, and two dates turn into three. Before Yao knows it, Antonio and him are going out. He's been in love before, so he recognizes it. He's in love with Antonio. Before, he's been afraid of being hurt, thus denying whatever he may have felt towards Antonio at that point. He can't help but feeling a bit afraid of this ending in heartbreak still, but he trusts Antonio. Because hey, this was the guy who called him beautiful before he even knew his name, despite the fact that Antonio believed him to be a girl. Yao can't deny... That he's actually happy with Antonio. He truly is. When asked, he can't tell exactly what it is about Antonio that he loves. Maybe it isn't something that you can put words on. Since he can't decide, Yao often settles on that, should someone ask. The most important thing is that he's happy with Antonio, and that's it.

To think that it all started with a little boy calling him an ugly lady.


	2. Sweden and Romano

**A/N: Here you go, crack pairing oneshot number two. This time Sweden and Romano (SuMano?). I originally intended to write the oneshot for another crack pairing, but I got a better idea for this one instead. I would really appreciate if you would review and tell me what you think, because I want to make the characters as in character (as opposed to out of character) as possible.**

* * *

Sweden is much more quiet than Spain ever was, Romano has noticed. It's definitely not a bad thing. Romano has practically grown up with Spain's personality and sometimes, he finds that it's easier loving someone you didn't grow up with. It doesn't mean that he doesn't like Spain anymore. At one point of time, Romano thinks, they might've been able to become a couple. But now, that time has long passed. Spain just have the ability to be so dense sometimes. Romano knows that Spain cares for him (despite all yelling and cursing that Romano does) and he begrudgingly admits that he cares for Spain too. But it is much more like one would care for one's sibling. Romano will simply never feel the way for Spain that he does for Sweden.

It's funny really, Romano thinks. Him, with Sweden? If anybody had told him a few years ago that he'd be having a relationship with Sweden, SWEDEN, he would've told those bastards to go check their heads. But, now... He'll be damned, but Romano actually _enjoys_ spending time with Sweden. It's weird really, because Sweden doesn't really talk much, making the time in his company... Quiet. There are times when Romano will stand up and scream at the Swede to say something, but he can't deny that Sweden's silence is a big help when Romano is ranting about someone. Sweden never argues against him, he just... Sits there and listens to what he has to say. Romano never has to worry about Sweden interrupting him. So to sum it up, Romano has mixed feelings about Sweden's silence.

It feels... Good. To know that there is someone listening to what he says, carefully evaluating and then commenting in the accent that's so often exaggerated on. And the most important thing: Never even once have Sweden compared him to Veneziano. It's a bliss really. Romano has yet to hear even a word of comparison from Sweden. Never have Sweden said something like "look at your brother; why can't you be more like him?" Instead Sweden will say things like; "But you're not your brother. You're perfect as you are, so why do you have to be like him?" That is to the current date the longest sentence Romano has ever heard Sweden say. But it is also one of the most heart-warming sentences that he has ever heard. Although he does admit that he can do without Sweden encouraging him to spend more time with his brother.

When Romano thinks back, he's really happy that he began dating the Swede. His life has become so much more happier and he tackles every day with a little bit more confidence because he knows that Sweden will be there to support him if anything happens. It's weird really, because he has never felt like this before. Not for anyone. Only for Sweden.

* * *

But how did this begin, might you ask? Two months ago, Finland entered a relationship with someone else. Sweden and Finland were never really been together for real, but they could've been, for all the years that they've been living in the same house. It was a shock for everyone when Finland announced that he'd begun dating someone else but Sweden. Sometimes, Romano suspects that it was a big surprise for Sweden, too. And can't help but feel a bit bad for the Swede. But then again, Sweden has him now. Sweden might not be allowed to call Romano "his wife", but Romano has never had a doubt that the feelings that Sweden holds for him are real. A testament for Romano's feelings is how he's changed from screaming at Spain to help him when he's in trouble, to get Sweden to help him instead.

One week after Finland announced his new relationship, Romano bumped into Sweden in the hallway during a world meeting. Romano cursed when all his important papers were spilled on the floor. Then, he stopped when he saw who it was that he had been yelling out. Sweden was staring right through him with his default scary faceTM. Romano was about to cry out for Spain's help when Sweden grunted out an "Sorry" and began helping him with picking up the papers from the floor. This had shocked Romano. It was also the first sign Romano got that Sweden was perhaps not as scary as he'd once thought. After picking up the papers, Sweden invited Romano to walk to the meeting room together. This was the start of their relationship. When thinking back, Romano has never been happier that he slept in and was in a rush that morning. Had he never slept in, he never would've bumped into Sweden that day. If that hadn't happened, Romano wouldn't have been nearly as happy as he is today.

The only thing is that they have yet to announce their relationship to the others nations. They are supposed to do it at the world meeting today and Romano is really nervous. What if those bastards don't accept them? Romano clenches his fists. They have to. Trying to calm himself down, he tries to predict what the other nations will think. Veneziano will probably be his normal, stupid, happy self and offer them pasta. The potato bastard will hopefully just leave them alone, and France... Romano doesn't even want to think about that. It's not like Romano gives a rat's ass what the other nations think, anyway. But he doesn't deny that it would help considerably. There's just one thing that Romano has to make clear before announcing Sweden and his relationship.

"I'm just saying this again, so you know," Romano began as he looked at the Swede, "Now that we're announcing our relationship, you're not even going to think about calling me your wife, is that clear?" Sweden nods and Romano smiles.

"Good." Then, Romano reaches for Sweden and they kiss each other in front of everyone at the world meeting.


	3. Russia and Japan

**A/N: This one is probably a bit less romantic, and maybe a bit more onesided. Maybe even more friendship rather than romance? I don't know. I tried my best to make everyone as in character as possible. Especially Russia (Even if he's only in the story for about a fourth of it). Because Russia is NOT a rapist, despite what people might be writing in fanfictions. It has never ever been stated in canon. Yes, Russia is pretty scary and seems to be stalking China, but it's not like he's the reincarnation of true evil or something, he's just had a really bad luck. But it seems that he is often portrayed as such, just because people need an antagonist for their stories. I think that it's sad, really. But you don't really need to listen to (read?) what I say (write). After all, you might find that my characterization of Russia is horrible, I don't know. In my head, Russia is really, really bad at being social, like he doesn't really know what you can say before freaking people out. I think that might've been reflected in the way I write him. Maybe. Who knows.**

* * *

Japan can't really say that he views Russia in a favorable way. The both nations have had... Problems with one another for some time now and their relationship hasn't gotten better with the years. And Japan isn't really very keen on the idea of trying to redeem that. Japan hates to admit it, but Russia has an ability to make chills go down his spine. Especially his smile. Or well, rather the _situations_ that he smiles in and what he _says_ while smiling. Aside from Russia's smile, there's many other things that Japan doesn't like about Russia, such as the way Russia treated the Baltic States while they were under his rule. So Japan prefers to stay away from him as much as possible. There's only so much that he can do, however.

* * *

When Russia's focus on the world meetings begins to shift from pestering the Baltics to looking, no, outright staring holes through Japan, Japan begins to suspect that something is amiss. And he doesn't think that it's good. The stares seems to intensify with every official meeting that takes place and Japan seems to be the only one who notices it. Maybe, Japan hopes, he's just imagining it. But no. Whenever he turns around, Russia and his frightful gaze with his gleeful, gleeful smile is always there.

It's not good for him. Not at all. He's become paranoid, on the edge, jumping at any sound that might be something, _someone_, dangerous. He tries to tell himself that he shouldn't be afraid, because he's perfectly capable of defending himself. People who have been taking him lightly in the past has ended up suffering over it. But this is Russia, who would probably tie with Belarus at the question "Who is the scariest nation?". Not only is he scary, but very capable of going through with his threats. Japan knows, because he's had Russia as his enemy many times before. Japan can only hope that Russia's apparent interest in him is something imagined, because- A happy, cheerful voice breaks him out of his train of thoughts, bringing him back to reality. The monthly world meeting has just ended and everyone is going home.

"Japan, Japan!" It's Italy, wearing his typical smiling expression, waving his arms excitedly. "Do you want to eat pasta with me? Germany said that he was really busy with his paperwork and couldn't do it with me!" A slight smile comes upon Japan's face as Italy talks. Through the years, Italy has become able to calm Japan down, make him relax. Even without meaning to. Well, except for when he was driving. He would love to thank yes to Italy's invitation, because maybe, maybe, Russia would let him be. But on the other hand...

"I'm terribly sorry Italy-kun," Japan smiles regretfully, "but I have another, previously made arrangement. Therefore, I am not able to eat pasta with you, however much I may want to. I hope that this is okay with you?" Italy just smiles.

"Japan, we're friends! You don't need to be so formal with me! It's okay, I'll just go ask my brother instead! And if he can't, then maybe I'll go ask Spain. Or maybe I can eat all the pasta by myself! But then, maybe I will have a stomachache tomorrow and then Germany will get mad at me for eating too much..." Italy now begins looking a bit concerned.

"I'm sure that it's of no concern, Italy-kun." Italy once again breaks out smiling.

"You're right, Japan! I don't need to worry. I think I have to go now, because otherwise my brother might get mad at me... It's not nice when he's mad at me... Bye, Japan!" With that, Italy turns around and runs away.

Japan just sighs. It's true that he would've loved to spend some time with Italy, if only to escape Russia's never-ending gaze, but... What if Italy was in danger of becoming a victim of Russia if Japan had done so? Japan couldn't take the risk.

"Ah, Italy is such a lively one, is he not?" Japan almost jumps in surprise when the familiar voice resounds from behind him. He quickly turns around and locks gazes with the voice's dreadful owner, narrowing his eyes. Violet meets brown.

"Russia." Said nation's smile just widens as his name is mentioned. The Russian nation takes one step forward, still smiling, prompting Japan to take one step backwards.

"My, my, Japan. Taking steps backwards, aren't we? That's not very polite." It takes so much from Japan to _not _respond in a growl. He's feeling threatened, alright. The conference room is pretty much empty, except for them. Not good at all. Why did he let Italy run away, again?

"What do you want, Russia?" His voice is controlled, but the slightest bit of fear can be heard. Russia takes yet another step, making Japan respond with taking another step backwards. Until he feels the wall behind him.

"You." How can one word be so frightening?

"Excuse me?" Japan barely keeps his voice from stuttering. Russia just smiles, making the whole situation even more creepy.

"I want you. Or well..." Now, Russia's smile gives way for an expression of... is it embarrassment? "We've been having such a bad relationship lately, and I've... Well, I've been feeling lonely. The Baltics doesn't seem to like me anymore and China seems to be scared of me. I want to be your friend." What is he supposed to answer at that?

"Russia, I-" Before Japan has the chance to continue, Russia lungs at him. And suddenly he finds himself in the arms of Russia, being carried bridal style by the Russian. "Russia, what are you-" Russia is smiling again.

"I did tell that we were going to be friends, didn't I? You don't really have any choice in the matter. There's no such a thing as compromise in Russia, after all."

"You can't just do this!" Japan hasn't felt his personal space being this violated since Italy hugged him for the first time.

"But I can. I'm doing it right now. You know what? If we become _really good friends_, then I might make you one with Mother Russia."

Japan sighed. He didn't have a choice, did he? There were probably far worse things in the world. _Right?_


	4. France and Finland

**A/N: So... This is the last oneshot. I've now written a oneshot for each of the four crack pairings that I was supposed to do. So, yeah. The french in this oneshot is really, really simple, but I don't want to be mean to anyone who doesn't know French, so I'll provide a short wordlist. You won't have the problem of having to scroll up to see the words, since this is so short. The words are really simple too, so you probably know them anyway if you've been in the fandom for a long time.**

**Finlande = Finland (No shit)**

**Non = No (a bit roughly though, I believe.)**

**Oui = Yes**

**Je t'aime: I love you.**

* * *

Finland frowned as he stood in front of the mirror, trying to make sure that everything was just perfect. He did want to make sure that everything was perfect. He wasn't a perfectionist or something, but he found himself nervous anyways. He _was_ going on a date, after all. With France, who was a bit more fashion-oriented than the others nations. You only had to look at the uniform that France had worn during world war 2 to notice that he was a lot more flashy compared to the other nations.

It had been almost half a year since France and Finland had started dating, and almost four months since Romano and Sweden had begun dating. Finland had found it weird at first, because Sweden and Romano differed from each other so much. But Sweden looked really happy with Romano - well as happy as Sweden could look - and Finland really couldn't say anything, since he was dating France. They did seem like a really weird couple anyways. Finland had actually overheard Japan and Hungary briefly mentioning something named "crack pairing".

Finland could still remember how it had felt, telling Sweden that he had a relationship with France. Finland had been a bit insecure about how to tell Sweden, because Sweden had so often called him "wife". But they had never really had a real relationship. Still, Finland could remember having been worried about how Sweden would take it. He did care for Sweden, it just... Wasn't love. Not that kind. Even so, it had come as a surprise when he told Sweden about his relationship with France and Sweden had given him thumbs up. It had made him worry about what would happen to Sweden. So when Sweden began dating Romano... Finland was happy for his sake. Just as Sweden was happy for his.

The story of how Finland and France began dating was an... Interesting one. During the nation's annual Christmas party, France and Finland had ended up under the mistletoe together. They had kissed (albeit a bit reluctantly on Finland's side) and it hadn't been more of that, until Christmas eve when Finland was out delivering presents. Turns out France hadn't been lying about giving wine to Santa Claus. Finland had ended up being way too drunk to drive the Sleigh, so France had offered him to stay throughout the night. Finland had protested, but since he was nearly done with giving out presents, so he eventually agreed. Looking back, he realised that France had been right. He had been way too drunk back then to even think of driving the Sleigh. It was embarrassing but true.

The morning after that, Finland had woken up in France's arms with a hangover. That had also been extremely embarrassing. Well... At least he hadn't been naked. He never would've been able to live that one if it got out. At least you could be happy over the little things. After that awkward morning, France had begun suggesting that they should meet more often. Finland had been a bit reluctant in the beginning, still a bit embarrassed over what had happened at Christmas, but he had eventually caved in. Eventually, their slowly budding friendship had turned into a slowly budding relationship. Finland had made France promise not to give wine to Santa anymore though. Getting drunk when you were supposed to give out presents was such a pain.

Lost in his thoughts, Finland didn't notice how the door to his house was opened and someone came up and hugged him from behind.

"You look beautiful today, Finlande*," France said.

"France!" Finland burst out. He was probably never ever going to get used to this. Compared to the other Nordics and everyone else that Finland had ever been friends with or known, nine times out of ten France was the one who took most bodily contact (Well, if you excluded Italy. Italy gave lots of hugs, too), whether it was hugs, holding hands or anything else. It's not like it was bothering Finland, it was only that France often managed to surprise him by coming from behind. France let go of Finland so that the Fin could turn around and look him in the eye.

"You could have knocked," Finland said, but he wasn't angry or anything.

"But then I would have to wait to see your beautiful face, non*? I think that Romano and Sweden are waiting for us to come, since we decided to have a double date and all. We wouldn't want to make them wait, would we? I've heard that Romano can be terribly inpatient." Finland nodded.

"Let's get going then." Finland paused. "I've missed you."

"It's only been one week," France pointed out with a smile.

"I know. That's six days to much." France laughed and brought Finland a little bit closer to him.

"I see. But it could have been for a much longer time. It feels that way, at least. That means that we have a lot to catch up on, oui?*" France brought Finland passionate, yet gentle kiss.

"Je t'aime*, Finlande," France said as they broke up the kiss. The both smiled.

"Love you too, France."


End file.
